Sunday, November 16, 2008

Rough Draft essay #2

Rhode Island Patriot

"I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country"(Nathan Hale)
I am a proud patriot of Rhode Island and feel most grateful to live in such a colony as this. The most freedom I have ever felt has been brought to me through this colony. In 1663, a charter was passed saying that we had total freedom from the colonies established around us. I came here to escape the religious oppression and unruly acts forced upon me from the fellow colonies. When the Charter was passed, I was most thrilled and would do anything to support my freedom and the freedom of Rhode Island.

Independence seemed to be working wonderfully in Rhode Island, and it gave me such a great living environment compared to the other colonies. We prospered tremendously in our trade which led us to our great economy. Newport is the focal point of our trading in Rhode Island, and was one of the most important seaports in all of the colonies. (Doak 56) Once Great Britain found out about our prosperous trade; they wanted to join our wealth and pay off the debts they had accumulated over the years of war. “At the end of the wars, England owed a lot of money for all of the soldiers, weapons, and forts that they had used. To raise money, England decided to tax the colonists for sugar, paper, and tea.” (Whitehurst 17) Great Britain began to pass laws in around 1650, and that was just the beginning of our economical downfall. My anger grew when thinking that Great Britain was taking our wealth to payoff their debts, when we have our own debts to settle. “…the colonists were already paying taxes to cover their own war debts and run the colonies. A lot of them thought paying twice wasn’t one bit fair.”(Schanzer 18)

Our economy is suffering more and more as the taxes from England keep coming, and they will only get worse if we don’t stop them. Rhode Island is a small colony and we depend on trade to survive. Farming and trade are our most important economical source of income. “Great Britain passed the first of a number of laws that became known as the Navigation Acts. These laws were created mainly to protect British trade. However, the Navigation Acts hurt Rhode Island’s economy.”(Doak 41) These laws put limits on the types of goods that we could make and sell. We tried to put up with the laws, but they only hurt us, so we had others smuggle the goods in and out of our port. This is the only choice we had to survive. Great Britain forces us to disobey parliaments laws. They hurt us instead of help us, so we have to help ourselves. The main port in Newport was blockaded by British ships, and this effected our economy for the worse. “Newport was especially hard - hit. Beginning in June 1775, a British blockade of the port caused Newport residents serious problems. During the blockade, British ships stopped food supplies from entering the port.” (Doak 94)

The King of England and Parliament hurt our colony through their unjust laws and taxation's. We made many attempts to stop their terror upon us by using words, but they never responded to our kindness. We, Rhode Island and the colonies around us sent delegates to Philadelphia to develop a plan of stopping this nonsense. The delegates wrote to King George III pleading for mercy, but the King kept his attacks coming. “They wrote to King George III of Great Britain, offering to make a deal. The colonists would stop fighting if the British government met their demands for lower taxes and less meddling in colonial government.” (Stefoff 18) We as patriots only wanted freedom from the British attacks. We made attempt after attempt to stop the taxes without violence. We sent many letters such as the Olive Branch Petition to the King of England asking to revoke the taxes and unjust laws placed upon us, and to treat us as more than slaves under the British Parliament. “We, therefore, beseech your Majesty, that your royal authority and influence may be graciously interposed to procure us relief from our afflicting fears and jealousies, occasioned by the system before mentioned, and to settle peace through every part of your dominions,” (Olive Branch Petition) The king never took into mind any of the letters we wrote to him, and he never even looked at the Olive Branch Petition. Because he didn’t respond to our words we had to take charge. We were falling apart because England was trying to rule over us, instead of next to us. We have rights, and in order to protect them we must fight, so we had to take up arms. “In our own native land, in defense of the freedom that is our birthright, and which we ever enjoyed till the late violation of it -- for the protection of our property, acquired solely by the honest industry of our fore-fathers and ourselves, against violence actually offered, we have taken up arms. We shall lay them down when hostilities shall cease on the part of the aggressors, and all danger of their being renewed shall be removed, and not before.” (Taking up Arms)

England was my “mother country” before she placed us under her like slaves. England disrespected the colony of Rhode Island and all the colonies in America. I fought for my freedom and the freedom of my colony, Rhode Island. Now we have our independence; we are the United States of America. England doesn’t deserve to be called a part of The United States of America.


Citations:

Books:
Doak, Robin. Life in the Thirteen Colonies: Rhode Island. Canada: Children's Press, a division of Scholastic Inc., 2004.

Whitehurst, Susan. The Colony of Rhode Island. First. New York, NY: The Rosen Publishing Group, Inc., 2000.

Schanzer, Rosalyn. George vs. George: The American Revolution as seen from both sides. Belgium: National Geographic Society, 2004.

Primary Documents:
Charter of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations - July 15, 1663

A Declaration by the Representatives of the United Colonies of North-America, Now Met in Congress at Philadelphia, Setting Forth the Causes and Necessity of Their Taking Up Arms.

Journals of the Continental Congress - Petition to the King; July 8, 1775

3 comments:

Melissa Garcia said...

first paragraph:
-period after the citation. should be (Nathan Hale).
-thesis doesn't seem very clear.
-mention the tyranny Britain is putting you through maybe?

second paragraph:
-which war, or wars, are you talking about?
-when your quoting something, the quote goes after the citation. Example of what it should be: “…the colonists were already paying taxes to cover their own war debts and run the colonies. A lot of them thought paying twice wasn’t one bit fair”(Schanzer 18).
-what specific laws did Britain pass to raise taxes on sugar, tea, etc.
-transition sentence to third paragraph?

third paragraph:
-should be: "Great Britain forces us to disobey Parliament's laws."
-transition sentence to fourth paragraph?

fourth paragraph:
-take the apostrophe out "taxation's" in the first sentence.
-"words" as in what? letters, petitions, declarations, etc. you need to be more specific.
-never mind you get more specific later in the paragraph with good examples :-)
-transition sentence to fifth paragraph?

fifth paragraph:
-reword the last sentence. it doesn't make that much sense but i think it's just because of the wording.

overall:
-good quotes
-make sure to look over all the grammar to make sure it is correct.

Tre Kelly said...

Tre'-
Since you're a person in this time you should explain where you heard each of your quotes and not just put a quote in after your details. Kind of like you did when you were talking about the Rhode Island Charter, and other topics throughout the rest of your essay. I kinda see a thesis but where is your argument in the intro??? You talk about some issues you have with the Britain and how much you like your colony but you don't emphasize YOUR argument that is supposed to support your thesis.
The rest of the essay seems fine. It looks like you followed the rubric, stayed focused on you colony, and you included good quotes that supported what you were talking about. Great Job Alina <3 :)

Joanne Paulsen said...

-Who is your audience? Refer to the text analysis rubric to guide you through your essay.
-I am able to understand that you are a patriot, good job!
-You need a clear thesis and argument.
-I suggest that you place the writer in a story of their lifetime. Kind of like an "I Say" of a different person other than yourself. Because you said, "I came here to escape the religious oppression and unruly acts forced upon me from the fellow colonies." The reader wants to know more about this and you as the writer. More story less information. Put yourself in a 18th century person's shoes.
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